Koi

Koi- 18 weeks

 

Sometimes you don't really know why you are experiencing trauma and heartache until all is said and done. And sometimes you never really, fully understand. And that's ok.
2014 was a nice little package of brutal and growth for us.

Christmas 2013, we found out I was pregnant with #3. From the very start- things just didn't feel right. On April 4th we lost Koi at nearly 20 weeks pregnant. Brutal.
If it weren't for Keoni, the kids, and the awesome friends I have that just came over and dropped off food or wine, or little gifts, I'm not sure I would have come out of the sadness.

On my due date with Koi, Sept 4th, 2014 we found out I was pregnant again.

Dragon- 24 weeks

 

 

Today marks 30 weeks. This boy is active, strong, and so loved already. We call him Dragon. Dragon because when the Koi was recognized by the gods as determined and strong for getting to the top of a waterfall, they turned him into a dragon. 

So many questions already from others. Have we named him? Yes we have. What's his name? We aren't saying. But, it just might be Dragon.

 

There is so much about what happened in 2014 that I cant explain and I still don't understand fully, but we aren't meant to.  The one thing I know for sure, is I am so lucky to have Keoni as my husband. He is truly a partner and you don't realize how strong you can be for each other until you need to.

 

So, here is to 2015!!! 

 

 

*Very, public shout out to Lenka- for telling me its ok to want to stab a pregnant person when I see one, you just cant act on it. And to Camden- for climbing in bed with me and watching Dog, while I just laid there and cried. So much thanks to the rest of my soul group too! We love all of you!*





2015

 

The other day, I was just thinking about how I have 12 special, files on my computer. 12 special, files for 12 months of Kael's first year. His baby book is full. I know exactly where to look to find a sweet, picture of Kael at any month of his first year.....and there is Maes. I don't have 12 sweet, files for her. I can look on fb for pictures, but I'm not organized like I was with Kael. Her baby book is filled out, kind of. But no pictures. Sigh...and now, I'm 2 months away from having # 3. I guess I better get a baby book and start preparing now.

So, after two years, its time to update and keep up on blogging. Which I said in 2009. Kael is now 6. And Maeli is 4. Everyday is an adventure. An adventure full of broken Christmas ornaments that are still around the house, zombie hazmat costumes, Mine Craft, stuffed animals, purple blankie, and so on...

Welcome 2015!